When the Mask Slips — and the Flying Monkeys Swoop In
There’s nothing quite like sitting in a courtroom, watching a narcissist finally get called out by someone they can’t manipulate.
My fiancé’s ex didn’t come to fight for more time with her kids. She didn’t ask for joint custody or to be a more present parent. No — she came to erase her $25/week child support and wipe out 18 months of arrears.
Her reason? “I lost my job on June 18” (the real reason: she doesn’t want her tax return seized so she can pay for a wedding).
The judge didn’t even need to check the calendar to know something smelled off.
Judge: “But you filed for this in April.”
Cue the stammering, the leg shaking, the deer-in-headlights look.
Turns out she starts a full-time job in a week (and somehow “has no idea” what her salary will be). Still, she wanted to pay less than $25/week. The judge shut it down so fast my fiancé never had to say a word.
Judge: “I don’t need to hear anything more. Mr. [Fiancé], you don’t even need to talk. I’m denying your claim.”
When she started to pack up her bag to leave, the judge sharply stated:
Judge: “Ms. [Ex], look at me when I’m talking to you!”
It was epic.
Here’s the thing about narcissists: when they’re gone, people see the lies, the manipulation, the chaos. But the moment they reappear? Amnesia. Suddenly, we’re the villains again.
Let’s look at the résumé:
Disappears for months — even over a year at a time.
Blames everyone else for her problems.
Can’t hold a steady job.
Told a man he was the father for nine months — then played the victim when the truth came out.
Has staged illnesses, injuries, and even cancer to gain sympathy or dodge responsibility.
Involved law enforcement under false pretenses.
Used her children in court matters — even bringing them to multiple child support hearings.
Encourages her kids to lie and gather information to use in custody disputes.
Patterns don’t lie. And this one’s been on repeat for years.
The common denominator in all of the chaos and drama? Her.
But here’s the part that stings the most: the “flying monkeys” she’s trained to defend her… are my fiancé’s own kids. It’s heartbreaking to see the emotional trauma she inflicts on children.
It’s not their fault. It’s not even truly them speaking. It’s years of manipulation, trauma, and arrested development. It’s survival mode — believing that if they don’t side with her, she’ll spiral, and it will somehow be their fault. So they protect her, run interference, and turn on anyone who won’t play along.
They blame my fiancé for everything. Ignore him. Speak to him with open contempt… unless they need their car (or cat) fixed. They don’t see that he’s finally found his voice — that he refuses to be emotionally abused anymore. That’s growth. That’s self-worth. I wish they felt empowered by it vs misplaced anger.
The pattern is obvious. The damage is real. And the responsibility is solely hers.
So here’s my promise: if they ever break free, get help, and want to be part of a family that’s honest, present, and loving — we’ll be here. Until then, the “poor me and my wedding” (funded by dodging child support — newsflash: a wedding is optional; supporting your children is not) or “we’re a single-income household” routine — when four adults live there — isn’t getting a single ounce of my sympathy. Keep in mind…They say “why is she here at court??? this has nothing to do with her!!!”, yet somehow believe my income should help cover her neglect. Hypocrisy at its best.
If you ever feel trapped in the middle…
I know it’s confusing when the people you love tell different stories. It’s even harder when you feel like you have to “pick sides” to keep the peace. That’s a heavy load for anyone, let alone a kid.
Here’s what I want you to know:
It’s okay to ask questions. If something doesn’t make sense, you’re allowed to look for the truth — even if it’s uncomfortable.
You’re not responsible for a parent’s choices. You didn’t cause their problems, and you can’t fix them.
You can love both parents without agreeing with everything they do.
Boundaries are healthy. You don’t have to keep secrets or do things that feel wrong just because someone asks.
Help is out there. A trusted adult, counselor, or friend can give you perspective when things get messy.
A few more things to keep in mind:
Look at actions, not just words — real change shows up in consistency.
It’s okay to step back from drama. You don’t have to take part in arguments, gossip, or “taking sides.”
You don’t have to carry an adult’s secrets. If you’re being asked to hide something that makes you uncomfortable, it’s not your burden.
Wanting peace is not betrayal. It’s self-protection.
Don’t confuse chaos with love. Healthy relationships don’t require constant crisis.
You can outgrow old roles. Just because you’ve been the protector, the go-between, or the peacekeeper doesn’t mean you always have to be.
You deserve to feel safe, respected, and loved without strings attached. If you ever decide you want that — the door will be open.
And if “she” happens to read this…
You’ve spent years rewriting history, collecting enablers, and blaming everyone else for the chaos you create. But here’s the thing about patterns — they don’t lie. Every bridge you’ve burned, every relationship you’ve sabotaged, every story that crumbles under a little scrutiny… all have one thing in common: you. The truly tragic part is the emotional trauma and neglect you inflict on your children.
I’m not here to convince you. I’m not here to argue. I’m not even here to listen to excuses. I’m simply here to say: we see the real you. The mask is cracked, and no amount of sweet talk, crocodile tears, or carefully rehearsed “poor me” lines will glue it back together.
We’ve stepped out of your circus. The show’s over. We don’t have selective amnesia. You will need to get your narcissistic supply elsewhere.
